The Year of 2020 and Coronavirus-Covid 19

There is so much that has changed in such a sort period of time.  If someone told me this would have happened in 2020 then I would have skipped it and moved on to 2021.

I know we all have made a list of things that we want to do during this time and crazy enough we haven't touch an item on the list.  I am guilty of this.

I am trying to use this time wisely but it difficult.

There's such a sadness in my heart.

So many people have lost their loved ones.  We don't get to visit our friends and family the way we would like to.

Unemployment rate skyrocketing.  Schools closed.  Parks closed.  Beaches closed.  Disney World Closed. 

No go-carting, no bowling, no karaoke, no dinner or drinks with friends. 

My family will not get to attend my 8th grader's middle school graduation, my 5th grader's middle school graduation, or my Kindergarten's graduation.

I never realized how important it was to actually get up and walk into a church building to praise and worship.  It's difficult trying to keep a connection to God.

I never realized how hard it would be to stay indoors.  It eye opening to realize that your family drives you up a wall.

I'm usually a very strong person but right now I feel lost.

Where is the world going from here?  What will December of 2020 look like?

This evening I attended a Virtual Bible Study.  I'm just baffled.

My kids want to go to school and see their classmates and they can't.  They want to go to the grocery store with me and they can't.  They want to know when they will see their classmates and their teachers and when the world will get back to normal.  I don't have an answer for them. The uncertainty is scary.  I know I am supposed to pray about it and have faith.

But right now I'm just taking it one day at a time.  More like 2 hours at a time.

I realized that I don't know myself. I don't know what I like.  I like to read but i don't get to read much with homeschooling.  I like to sew but i don't get to do that much either.  Nothing around me make me find true joy.  So I realized I don't like myself.  I don't like who I thought i was and I don't know who I want to be.

What's next?  What do I do from here?

Lost and Confused